Your queries, my struggles....

PART V

Continued…

In this part I try to answer, to the best of my ability, a few questions asked by you all.

1. Are you out of it?

A rose must have thorns to be a rose; life must have ups and downs to be life. When depressed, one tends to lose the ability to ignore and accept. There is no one who has not been depressed at some time or the other in life, for depression is latent in all of us. I don’t want to sound pessimistic when I say that I am not “totally or completely” out of it. But now I have trained my mind not to let it overwhelm me. I have now regained the ability to get out of it and bounce back quickly with much more gusto. All I can say is that my days of over thinking, over imagining, over interpreting are finally over now. I am still attracted to sorrows but I now also know, how not to let the termites of sorrow eat out hollow, the joys of life.

2. Did homeopathy help?

I was on paroxetine for two years before I switched over to homeopathy. Perhaps my mind still wanted me to think and believe that I needed an alternative and external support to defeat it. Perhaps homeopathy filled that void. But I would admit I relied on homeopathy for moral support and sometimes that is all one requires.

3. What triggers it?

Even the most inconsequential of things like grey weather can give me the worst of blues. It could be an argument going haywire or Internet playing up. More than the trigger it is the aftermath that wreaks havoc. I cannot pin point on the trigger, for sometimes, a thing that has hurt me even months ago, remains with me and like a fast growing tumor keeps gnawing at my mental peace, finally leading to a breakdown of worst kind. I can’t avoid getting hurt, stressed or change the circumstances/people. I can only try not to get depressed by remaining strong. Now I have got the knack of swimming out of the horrible pool of negativity. I focus on all that keeps me happy and rejuvenated. I don’t let my mind oscillate unnecessarily between past and future, I don’t let the shackles of past affect me, or the anxieties of future overwhelm me. I simply move on, picking up the best and discarding the rest. Also triggers can’t be templated, in the sense that what triggers depression in me may not trigger it in someone else.

4. What is it that helped you the most?

Nothing in particular, but it is a combined effort from medication to meditation, counseling to positive thinking, change of environment to pursuing hobbies. Only you know what works best for you. Your idea of happiness is exclusive to you. Just focus on that. I put the bullies of pessimism, anxiety and worry in their place and jumped out of the pool of negativity into the wondrous world of positivity.

5. Was it really tough?

Of course it was extremely tough. For a very long time I didn’t even realize that I was suffering from depression. I carried on with this beast of depression till it sucked out every last bit of hope and happiness. All along I knew that something was missing.  It took me a long time to realize that I needed medical help. It took me longer to seek it and it took me longest to accept that I suffered from it --Depression.